I wrote this as satire on the democrats, how can I improve it?
I wrote this as satire on the democrats. What are your thoughts on it and how can I improve it? It must still sound like satire. I love how I got so many threatening emails about this post, because no one got the fact that it was a joke.
his is a work in motion so it is subject to improvements, but I am working on this and this is what I have so far. I would like to know what everyone thinks.
My hopes for Barack Obama’s presidency:
Before the end of Barack Obama’s 2nd term the following things will happen:
Gas Taxes will be a litre or about per gallon. This will help us to fight global warming and encourage people to take public transportation.
A 20% VAT will be imposed, on top of your state sales tax, on ALL goods, including food and clothing.
There will be a 60% income tax on ALL people with a government cap on income set at ,000. The taxes will go towards providing medical care and housing for the needy.
A minimum income will be set for those on welfare at ,000. No longer will those on welfare have to suffer while greedy rich people live happy, healthy lives. The age of the wealthy is over and the poor, meek, and those who do not work for a living will inherit the earth.
Any and all dissent will be silenced immediately. The dissenter’s career will be destroyed, they will be labeled a "racist", and thrown in jail for a minimum of 5 years per offence.
The people will be required to give 10% of their incomes to humanitarian aid, both local and foreign.
Retrograde taxes will be imposed on all those who previously made more then 0,000 a year.
The government will sponsor and handle the upkeep of all museums, national forests, and wildlife reserves with tax payer money.
Guns of ANY kind will be banned PERMANENTLY. Possession of any gun will result in a ,000 fine and a minimum of 5 years in prison for each offence. This rule, however, does not apply to government official who have consistently voted Democrat since becoming registered voters.
The government will impose a cap on how much each corporation can make in a year. There will be no more making millions or billions on ANYTHING.
The government will regulate how much sodium, sugar, and fat is allowed in food in order to reduce costs to the government health care plan.
All immigrationally challenged people will be granted full amnesty and be issued a formal apology from the United States government.
This is just the beginning. I have so many more hopes for Obama’s presidency, but I haven’t thought of them all yet.
What are your thoughts?
Filed under: Sodium and Salt
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
I would say that those positions are realistic if the democrats had their way.
If you’re wondering if you have a future in writing, my advice would be to don’t quit your day job. If you have one.
A little intelligence would greatly improve it. Any intelligence at all would improve it. Some facts would go even further. But other than that, it sounds pretty lame to me.
So I take it your a Canadian, right?
Anyway, it isn’t over the top absurd enough to qualify as good satire, it honestly isn’t funny at all. It also has nothing to do with reality either. It is just an example of conservative fantasy, and honestly I regret wasting my time even reading it.
If you want an example of good political satire, try Jonathan’s Swift "A Modest Proposal" where he lays out a plan for eating babies. http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html
Also, a lot of stuff from The Onion qualifies as well.
I think that although this is a satire, it is way too extreme and not in a good form.
Look at "A Modest Proposal" It does state rediculous things but in a "practical" way. ex: using baby skin for boots.
It honestly sounds more like a redneck rant.
hope you do well
My first thought is that you don’t even understand satire. Second, you couldn’t be more convincing as a rigid, right-wing Republican redneck. Third, I suggest you delete it and stop embarrassing yourself!