Comments on: I wrote this as satire on the democrats, how can I improve it?

By: Bravephart

Bravephart — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:02:10 +0000

I would say that those positions are realistic if the democrats had their way.

By: TheMom

TheMom — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:02:10 +0000

If you’re wondering if you have a future in writing, my advice would be to don’t quit your day job. If you have one.

By: 60srad

60srad — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:02:10 +0000

A little intelligence would greatly improve it. Any intelligence at all would improve it. Some facts would go even further. But other than that, it sounds pretty lame to me.

By: Ghost of Tom Joad

Ghost of Tom Joad — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:02:10 +0000

So I take it your a Canadian, right?

Anyway, it isn’t over the top absurd enough to qualify as good satire, it honestly isn’t funny at all. It also has nothing to do with reality either. It is just an example of conservative fantasy, and honestly I regret wasting my time even reading it.

If you want an example of good political satire, try Jonathan’s Swift "A Modest Proposal" where he lays out a plan for eating babies. http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

Also, a lot of stuff from The Onion qualifies as well.

By: Don

Don — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:02:10 +0000

I think that although this is a satire, it is way too extreme and not in a good form.

Look at "A Modest Proposal" It does state rediculous things but in a "practical" way. ex: using baby skin for boots.

It honestly sounds more like a redneck rant.

hope you do well

By: GG

GG — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:02:10 +0000

My first thought is that you don’t even understand satire. Second, you couldn’t be more convincing as a rigid, right-wing Republican redneck. Third, I suggest you delete it and stop embarrassing yourself!